


Quiet obsession

by CryLittleOne



Category: IT (2017), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Captivity, Childhood Trauma, Deadlights (IT), Explicit Sexual Content, Forced Orgasm, Husbands, Kidnapping, M/M, Major Character Injury, Memory Loss, Mentioned Maturin | The Turtle, Minor Character Death, Rape/Non-con Elements, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:35:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22376566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CryLittleOne/pseuds/CryLittleOne
Summary: Bill wakes up in a hospital. He has several injuries, a broken memory and a tall stranger sitting next to him. The stranger delivers Bill a story on how he got here that actually makes sense but something isn't right about the man and the whole situation. Bill is about to step right in the trap and god knows he won't get out of it this time.
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Pennywise, Bill Denbrough/Robert "Bob" Gray
Comments: 91
Kudos: 272





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Boi I hope this is somehow enjoyable

Bill opens his eyes slowly. Not moving a finger, barely breathing. Everything hurts. His body feels as if someone keeps smashing him into the ground. Picks him up. Smashes again into the ground.

The sun shines through the window direct in Bill's face. With half lided eyes he manages to lift his left arm up to protect his eyes from the sunrays.  
It was that moment when he realized where he is.

The hospital.

"does the sun bother you little buddy" 

A male voice asked from the left side of the bed. Bill slowly turned his head around to see a men sitting on a chair, legs crossed, hands placed gently on his tight.

The men reached for the window to close the blinds. Bill sunk his arm. A sigh of relief leaving his mouth.

"you are finally awake..." 

The men added. Bill stared at him quietly. He wanted to talk. He had several questions about what happened, how he got here and who the hell his guy was. But he couldn't. His throat felt sore and dry making Bill choke when he opened his mouth to ask the first question.

"easy there Bill, I'll explain everything to you. I bet you have a lot of questions"

He continued, while getting up from the chair. The man was tall, at least two meters,didn't look that old either, had to be in his thirtys. Bill kept quiet as he watched the man move over in front of the bed to something what seemed to be a small table.

On the table were a few glasses and a huge water bottle. Bill swallowed dryly wanting nothing more than to drown the desert in his throat. His eyes fixed on the water.

"Robert"

The men said smiling kindly as he held a glass filled with water towards Bill. Bill sat up immediately reaching for the water to take a long gup.

The water cooled the burning area in his throat down. Bill coughed a few times when drinking the second glass, desperate to fully remove the dryness in his throat.

A hand grabbed the glass when he was halfway through with it yanking it out of Bill's hand.

"easy."

The man hissed only to get an annoyed look back from Bill.

"Robert"

He said again and gave the much smaller man on the bed the half filled glass back. Bill brought the glass up to his lips, his eyes fixed on "Robert".

Robert took the chair and pulled it closer to the bed. He sat down and leaned back into the chair crossing his legs again.

"I am your husband Bill"

Bill's eyes widened as he inhaled so much air that it made him cough again. The rest of the water with the glass fell on his white T-shirt as he let go of it not really realizing it. His hands both pressed on his mouth.

Robert seemed to be pretty amused by his reaction as he sat there calmly giggling at Bill.

"M-... My what?!"

"Your husband... dear"

Bill's eyebrows were high up to his hairline. His mouth formed into a thin line. Was this real? Is anything in this room real? Was this guy real?

"H-husband?!.... But-"

Robert's amused face changed. He looked serious at Bill, with half lided eyes and his eyebrows furrowed, as if he wasn't accepting Bill to deny their relationship.

"Husband. Yes. We got married"

"Are-... Are you serious right now? I don't remember being g-"

"We got married Bill."

Robert repeated again not even letting Bill finish his sentence.

"You had an accident. On our wedding night... We went to our new house and I wanted to take you to bed... but little Billy insisted on driving alone down to the village to get some wine for the night..."

The first look of confusion already placing itself on Bill's face. He didn't remember liking wine. But this wasn't a recent memory. He never liked it. An old memory with his father he still had flashed through his mind, he remembers it was Christmas. Bill was 12 and his father allowed him to drink alcohol for the first time.

They had relatives over and Bill begged his father to let him drink some of the wine he still had in his glass, as Bill saw his cousins drink from their parents. Eventually his father gave up on his 'no' and 'forget it buddy' and let Bill have a taste of the wine.

He also remembers making an ugly grimace and the laugh of his father who clearly enjoyed the regret of his son.

To this day Bill refused to drink wine as everytime he tasted it, it made him gag.

"Yes you do not like wine Billy. But you knew **I** liked it... I guess you planned a romantic evening and a night full of lust..."

Robert made a small break staring at the bed sheets and imagening what the night would have been if Bill had actually gotten back.

"what ha-.."

And once again the injured one got interrupted by the man sitting next to his bed.

"nevertheless... As soon as we got to our new home you made me go upstairs and took the car to drive down to the village and buy some stuff...I got undressed and waited naked on the bed...and waited...and waited...but little buddy didn't come..."

He gave Bill a pity look and his mouth angles dropped just like the ones of a small boy would drop if you told him you wouldn't help him get the ball out from under a car.

Bill listened carefully not wanting to overhear some information as he was more than sure that he couldn't be married to a man. A man he didn't even remember. Then Robert continued.

"So I got dressed again to look after you... You made me worry Billy... I took our second car and drove... looking for hours after you... In the end I got a call from the hospital... A nurse told me you were here and that you got hit by a car when you made a stop at a service area.. I don't know what you were doing there but...now you are here...safe...with me"

Robert bent forward and placed a hand over Bill's that was resting on the bed. Bill pulled his hand away. He wasn't sure if he should believe Robert or scream out for help.

"why am I not remembering anything?"

"the doctor said when the car hit you...you smashed your head on the windshield and then on the cement...that sent you to unconsciousness immediately...he also said that you lost parts of your most recent memories... Which meant you wouldn't remember.... **Me**..."

Bill nodded. That made sense. Maybe Robert was really his husband. He didn't remember dating a girl or making a proposal to one. Tough he thinks he has some foggy memories of a girl whose name initial started with an 'A' but nothing more. He probably dated her and broke up.

"you are mine"

Robert said with a deep voice. As if he read Bill's mind and didn't like him thinking of that girl.

"so...does that mean I'm not getting my memories back..?"

"of course you are...but not for now...you have to rest...you have a lot of injuries my love..."

 _My love._ Robert's words echoed through Bill's mind. He liked being called like that. He just didn't think his future bride would be a man calling him like that.

"how can I be sure that you aren't lying?"

Bill asked calmly.

"why would I lie to you"

"I don't know... just making sure you are not some kind of a psychopath..."

Bill glared at him with suspicioun, he still hoped for all this to be a joke somehow but came quick to the conclusion that Robert wasn't joking as Robert gave him an annoyed gander.

"s-..sorry... I didn't mean it to sound like that... I just-"...

And once again. Interrupted.

"it's alright little buddy...I know you are confused and still need to process things... Take all the time you need...Billy... You should go back to sleep"

"but I'm not tired"

"sleep"

Robert repeated. He stood up from the chair and pushed Bill softly onto the bed by placing his hand on Bill's chest until he was laying on his back again.

Bill didn't protest. Robert was right. He had a lot of injuries that had to heal. Especially the one on his head and another on his right foot. He turned on his right side on the bed so that the few small sunrays that were still sticking through the blinds wouldn't blind him.

Robert pulled the duvet wrapping it tightly around Bill. He leaned over Bill, his hands placed on the bed so that Bill was in the middle and bent down to place a soft kiss on the young man's cheek.

Then he stood up and went to the door. The door opens and Robert gives Bill one last gander.

"I'll take care of your wet shirt later...take it off if it's too uncomfortable... Sleep well.... _my lov_ e"

Then leaves the room.

Bill falls asleep within minutes


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Bill woke up he felt better. Not much better, but the headache he had yesterday while talking to Robert vanished. _Robert_. Bill thought to himself. His eyes moved around the room but the man wasn't there.

Thank god, a sigh of relief came from him. It's not that he didn't like Robert it's the fact that he isn't able to remember a single recent memory.

He needed some time alone to think, having Robert sitting next to him and narrating him every possible thing would only annoy Bill and probably make the headache come back.

"good morning Mr. Gray... Slept well?"

His head turned to the door. A young nurse came in. She wasn't older then 35, Bill supposed. In her hands a tablet with boring hospital food.

"Mr Gray?"

Bill raised an eyebrow while watching the nurse place the tablet on his thighs carefully. She gave him a kind smile before moving to the window to open the blinds.

"is that how you tell someone good morning from where you come?"

She said mockingly and Bill opened his mouth to apologize but decided against it as he watched her laugh.

"I'm just kidding Sir... You should eat...you need to regain your strength"

Bill only nodded quietly and bowed his head down to have a look at the food. Some grapes in a green plastic bowl, three crackers, mashed potatos with peas and small piece of meat.

Clearly not Bill's favorite food but it was better than nothing, so he picked up the fork and the knife starting to cut the meat in small pieces.

"My name is Gray ?"

He asked again while placing the first piece on his tongue then chewing, it was cold and tasted strange, Bill's nose wrinkled up in disgust.

"yea...that was the name your husband indentifed you with... William Gray"

She responded while checking Bill's status in her flat file.

"ohh... I understand... Memory loss"

She added only now understanding why Bill asked for the name. She looked up to him and sighed.

"Rob-... I mean...my h-...husband said my memories will come back"

Bill exclaimed quickly and accidentaly spat a small piece of the mashed potatoes on the tablet. Hoping that the nurse didn't see it he picked it up and ate it again.

"yes he is right, but you have to exercise"

"exercise?"

Bill asked confused.

"we got a few exercises for your brain to help your memories come back...small board games etc."

"I understand"

Bill lied.

"May I ask when I'll be released from the hospital?"

"in a few weeks Sir"

"a few weeks?!"

Bill let his body fall back into the bed frustrated. Weeks? This really sucked. He wanted to go home see his friends and family again. Friends. Family.

Bill's eyes shot open

_friends and family?!_

He still rembered his family. Yes. That's good. But not his friends. He is sure he had friends....or hadn't he? But where was everybody? Besides Robert no one came to visit.

The only name he still had in his mind with all the fog was Richie and that was it. No last name, no middle name. Only Richie.

"did I get any visitors?"

Bill sat up again and asked praying inside for a 'yes'

"I'm sorry Sir only your husband he promised to be back soon...he also brought something for you last night..."

She grinned and pointed to the left corner next Bill's bed. His look swiped over the room to the corner she pointed at.  
There was a basket with small wrapped gifts inside and a black envelope placed on top. The young author could swear the basket hadn't been there when he looked around the room just a second before the nurse came in

"I'll let you enjoy your presents Mr. Gray"

You could hear a small drop of jealousy in her words, and immediately notice that she didn't have a spouse who would surprise her just like Robert did

The nurse took the empty tablet off Bill's thighs then approached the door

"wait what about my foo-.."

But she had already left ignoring Bill's question.

He sat there in silence for a few moments watching the closed door before exhaling and turning his attention back to the basket.

Bill tried to stretch himself over the bed to reach for the basket. A sharp pain came from his foot which he barely moved. The pain was indescribable. Bill hissed and sat back, his hands turning into fists, gritting his teeth tightly and taking short breaths.

He calmed down after some moments ready to give it a second try. This time he had to act smart not fast. Bill looked around the room and spotted a crutch leaned against the right side of the bed. He picked it up and used it to pull the chair on which the basket was placed as close to him as possible.

In the basket were small and a few bigger wrapped presents. The wrapping was blue and had childish pirates with swords or parrots on it. Clearly one for five or six year old boys, as if Robert was in hurry and picked the first gift wrapping he saw in the store.

However the surprise was pleasant and made Bill smile. He needed it, to find out that none of his friends came to look for him was depressing, this whole situation was depressing. The basket was a good intention and it really distracted Bill from thinking of his family and friends. He was keen on seeing what was inside the small presents.

But the envelope in its fascinating black color with a thin red thread tied around it forming a cute bow on the side where you open the envelope was definitly sticking out.

Bill took the envelope and brushed his fingertips over the bow then turned it around to also have a look on the backside and then finally opened it carefully

He took the letter out and started to read.

_Hello Billy,_

_Slept well? I took care of your wet shirt, you know how difficult it is to change somebody's clothes without making them wake up? You looked so sweet while sleeping I almost forgot why I came in your room. However I have a few things I still need to take care of but made you this little surprise, hopefully it'll raise you'r mood a little._   
_I know how boring it can be having to lay around in bed all day and doing nothing but staring at walls. I'll be back soon, then we can spend some time together. Can't wait to take you home in a few weeks either. You're going to love it. I have more presents for you there. See you soon little buddy_

_\- Robert_

A soft smile grew on Bill's lips. He dugged the letter back in the envelope and put it back in the basket. Then packed the little presents out one after one.

The gifts were another evidence that Robert really knew him.

Two of the presents were his most favorite parfum brand, which was pretty expensive, then a few pads and new pencils. Perhaps Robert gave him the pads to write his ideas down in case he had random inspiration for his novels.  
Bill's eyelids dropped in annoyance as he realized that he was trapped in a hospital how the hell am I supposed to get inspiration here? He thought and shook his head while putting the pads away

The rest of the basket had a pair of socks with red balloons on them, a T-shirt with Bill's favorite band printed on it and a pair of new sunglasses which also were from some brand Bill didn't recognize yet but guessed that it had to be expensive too. At least that's what the sunglasses looked like.

A few hours passed and Bill was bored to death. He started to write some quotes down that didn't make any sense and after some time he just went through every page of the pad and wrote things like ' _fucking boring place'_ or ' _help me'_ , ' _fuck this'_ , ' _my foot hurts like heeeell'_ , 'am I author yet?'

After some time Bill rubbed his eyes and sunk himself into the pillow. Finally. Finally. He was tired and ready to sleep. His eyes closed and when he was about to fall asleep he felt lips kissing his forehead.

Bill winced and opened his eyes only to meet another pair of blue shining eyes right in front of him.

"sleepy Billy?"

Robert asked, his face death serious but his voice sweet and tenderly.

When did this guy come in?!

"n-...no....not anymore"

Bill answered quietly and moved his head away from Robert.  
Robert put himself in a straight position again and went to sit down on the same chair he sat in when Bill woke up the first time.

Bill's eyes examined Robert and got stuck at the black photo album Robert had in his right hand.

Robert pulled the chair again next to the bed and sat down opening the album.

"I got something that will prove you that I really am your beloved husband dear...come closer...I won't bite..."

Robert's lips formed a delicate smile as he grabbed Bill by his arm and pulled him closer to the edge of the bed.

"look...love"

He said and handed the album to Bill.  
Bill placed it on his thighs looking at the page Robert already had opened.

"this is us...back then we were in Italy...such a romantic country..."

Robert added. Bill tried to force himself to remember the moment, as he gazed the photo of him and Robert kissing at what seemed to be the beach while the sun was going down behind them.

After he failed to remember he turned a few pages to see if there were also other people. He searched the face that matched the name 'Richie' in his head.

"where are my friends..."

He murmured, his eyebrow furrowed, the turning of the pages quickened. There were only pictures of him and Robert. No friends. Not even his or Robert's family.

"Richie...Richie...Richie"

Bill kept saying until Robert slammed his hand on the album keeping Bill from turning another page. He was quiet and stared. Bill could practically hear Robert's thoughts. Calm down Bill and you panic over nothing

"s-...sorry"

"it's alright little buddy, calm yourself down...there is no 'Richie' or other friends because this is an album we dedicated to ourselves. The only of us. You and me."

"do you know anything about them..?"

"about who?"

Robert asked knowing fully well who Bill was asking for

"my friends..."

"I never got to meet your friends Billy, you were always nervous of meeting them with me and canceled all the plans you made up with them and me before they could have even started...you didn't even invite them to our wedding..."

Robert explained and took the hand off the album to place it on Bill's.

"holy shit..."

Bill sighed. He couldn't remember being so anxious to introduce someone especially his spouse to somebody else. But he believed Robert.

He seemed like a trustworthy guy and was his husband after all. He was kind and maybe a bit creepy but all in all a nice good looking tall man who cared about Bill.

"don't worry about it, you never had enough time for friends or encounters anyway, you barely had time for...me"

Robert sighed at the last part and Bill listened to him, in his head debating whether he should or should not say something.

"you know...the last few days without you were horrible...the bed is cold...I have no one to talk to. I miss you B-.."

Lips crushed against the ones of Robert as Bill decided for the unexpected and kissed him tightly. The taller man kissed back on the instant as if he was waiting for this moment to appear.

After some seconds Bill pulled himself back to get some air his cheeks flushed red.

"sorry I was just-...I guess I wanted to-..."

"don't apologize silly"

Robert laughed and lifted Bill's hand up to give it a delicate kiss, his eyes fixed on the author as he did so and kissed Bill's palm softly

Robert's gaze gave Bill goosebumps and sexual tension glided through the air.

Trying to distract away from this moment Bill rebuild the conversation.

" I'm sorry for being like that... I promise I'll have more time for you..."

"I hope so Bill. Can't wait for you to come home."

Bill spent the next few hours talking to Robert about every possible thing. About his parents, his childhood, his life decisions and how his becoming of an author based on the fact that his long forgotten brother had been murdered when Bill was only thirteen years old.  
Bill found comfort in talking to Robert, the man was calm and took his time to listen and understand the things about Bill he already knew, he loved to hear the story about the murder of Bill's younger brother.

_______________

It could never forget the day it took little Georgie from his family and extinguished the little boy's life for eternity. Hearing Bill mourning his little brother's death was a joy. Georgie wasn't the last person It planned on taking away from Bill. The losers were next.  
Bill's parents followed Georgie and they too had already left this world because of It. The main reason for their deaths was their abusive behavior towards Bill.  
Zach had been tortured by It more than Sharon according the fact that he literally beat Bill with beer flasks or his belt.  
It tortured him mentally with illusions and sleep paralysis for months before finally killing him.  
Zach's wife died shortly after him although she apologized to Bill a million times.

When Bill went to college he'd lost contact with his parents, but built it up again when he published his first novel. It took many months and intense discussions to find a bond to each other again.  
It was difficult between Bill and his father but they found to each other when Zach started crying during a walk with Bill. He never really apologized but fell on his knees and begged Bill to promise to never become such a father like he had been.  
But that wasn't enough for It. It wanted to make Zach suffer. Suffer for all the horrible things he'd done to Bill and It succeeded. The months before Zach's death had been the worst in his life and he wanted to die.

Of course Bill knew nothing about his parents deaths and It would make sure that he wouldn't search any contact to them in near future.

The losers were also an issue. But for the future. As for now they thought Bill had a beautiful wedding and was about to fly into his honeymoon. So It had enough time to plan each murder without it's little Billy noticing.

_______________

Sometime during midnight Bill fell asleep as he was tired and his throat sore from talking. Robert watched him quietly and decided to climb into the bed.  
Pulled Bill into his arms and buried his face into the young man's neck smelling him. Bill's back was pressed against Robert's chest as he shut his arms tightly around Bill and crossed his hand with the right one of the smaller man beneath him.

"sleep tight B-Buh-Billy"

He giggled and fell asleep shortly after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll see how far I'll go with this story lol


	3. Chapter 3

With Robert being there at day and night the few weeks passed quick and the day Bill was getting released from the hospital eventually came.

Bill noticed that he had a lot in common with Robert, which was probably one of the reasons he got married to him.  
But Robert didn't really tell much about himself, he just kept asking Bill more and more questions and then smiled while telling Bill that he liked the exact same things Bill had answered Robert's questions with.

The only things Bill found out about Robert that he didn't have in common with himself was that he liked wine, to make stupid jokes, meet people and watch movies. But there was one thing Robert mentioned he _really_ liked that stood out from all the others. The **circus.**

The author was quite surprised when Robert mentioned it, he looked like a well educated men with manners and a good taste in classic music. He always wore a pair of black jeans, a white shirt with a black vest covering it, and a pair of brown Chelsea boots that were so clean they shined when a stray of the sun touched them. Bill didn't want to know how much Robert must have spent on his black trenchcoat. It was once again a brand Bill didn't recognize yet but it looked expensive enough that he didn't even dare to touch the coat.  
Robert also looked very neat. His hair was always combed and gelled, he never smelt bad and his teeth were white and clean.  
So what would a men like Robert do in a sordid and putrid circus where kids spilled their drinks everywhere, animals smelled like shit, people yelled non stop and clowns threw pies into your face. It just didn't fit together. Robert and the circus.

At certain moments while watching Robert's apparence Bill doubted that their marriage would last forever, as he was far from being as elegant and classy as Robert was. In college Bill would spent days without getting out of his room, only to write as much as possible on his novel. Showers were non existend and he didn't care how much he had sweated or how messy his hair looked. Not to mention that he once forgot to brush his teeth for three weeks.  
If Bill's roommate hadn't taken charge of always bringing Bill some food and water he would have rather starved himself than to waste time on cooking or going out to buy food.  
His college time behavior didn't change. At least that was what Bill supposed as Robert had already mentioned that Bill doesn't have enough time for him.

Bill also never wore suits or vests or trenchcoats. He'd rather wear some jeans with a normal T-shirt and non branded shoes (which already looked like Bill wore them everyday for 6 years).  
It was a huge difference between Bill's and Robert's appearance but they shared their interests.  
Besides that they somehow found to each others hearts so that meant that Robert didn't seem to have a problem with Bill being a little nasty sometimes.

The young author's memories hadn't gotten any better, he even tempted to forget more about the little past memory pieces he still had. But he was able to remind himself of Richie's face after a dream he had a few days ago. So that was a start. The rest will surely come again once he gets home where everything is familiar and probably more helpful than this hospital.

______________

Bill sat on the side of his bed facing the door quietly. His hands were resting on his thighs, his loud heavy breathing filling the room. He had tried to get up by himself but every time he tried to do so, his right foot sent a huge amount of sharp pain through his whole body.

He was able to stand when he leaned into the crutch, but as soon as he tried to put a little pressure on his foot by trying to walk normal screams left his mouth. This sucked.

"Mr. Gray... I am here to help you"

The same nurse that always brought him food came in. She helped Bill to get up and taught him how to walk with the crutch without forcing his injured foot to touch the floor.

"just like this... See? It's easy... Now let me bring you to the reception...you have to sign a document and then you'll be free Sir"

Bill gave her a weak smile and followed her to the reception taking all the time he needed to move with the crutch.

Once in front of the reception Bill placed his arms on the desk and exhaled heavily.

"Jesus Christ that's exhausting... Can't believe I'll have to move around like this for the next months"

He added and placed his forehead on the desk for a second.

"I know Sir...a lot of massages and physio therapy will help your injury to walk normal again"

The lady at the front desk said and turned around to a white shelf that was behind her, to search some documents out for Bill.

Bill's gaze was laying on her back and slipped a bit too low as he suddenly found himself staring at the nurses ass.

"look who we got here!"

A familiar voice behind him yelled. Bill turned around to see Robert approaching him with tons of red heart-shaped balloons in his right hand and a small box of chocolates in his left.

"Robert....hey"

Bill smiled softly with half lided eyes as Robert placed a kiss on his forehead.

"how does my little buddy feel?"

Robert asked and settled the small box of chocolates on the white desk.

"better... I guess I'm jus-"

The nurse slammed the documents in front of Bill with a pen before he could finish his sentence.

"you have to sign us this files Sir, then you'll be allowed to leave"

Bill nodded and opened the first page, thanks god he was a fast reader or else they would have been stuck on that spot till next day.  
The space where he was supposed to sign came and Bill made a little pause. He looked at the empty line for a few seconds not even realizing the way Robert was eyeing him.

"Gray dear... You are supposed to write Gray down"

Robert eventually said not being able to wait any longer. His urge to finally be alone with Bill, far away from any other humans beat the clear requests of the doctors to let Bill have his time and think when he needed to remember something.

"oh...right"

Bill wrote it down and let the pen fall on top of the files with a loud thud.

"that's great. Let's go Billy."

Robert took a hold of Bill's left arm already pulling him in the direction of the exit as another hand grabbed Bill's right arm.

"not so fast! His foot is very sensible you have to be careful Sir...the doctor agreed to give you a wheelchair until it's healed again. There are no harsh moves allowed and do not-..."

"bla bla who cares...just give us the chair and let.him.go."

Robert hissed as he pulled Bill closer and away from the nurses grip.  
As soon as the wheelchair came Robert immediately made Bill sit down, ignored the nurse that apparently wanted to give them a file and got out of the hospital.

_What the hell was that about?_

Bill thought to himself. He didn't want to ask Robert about it and ruin his good mood, but if that was an act of jealousy then Bill had already his first concern about his seemingly good husband.

"there we are Billy!"

Robert stopped in front of a black Bentley making Bill's eyebrows go up to his hairline.

"is-...is this a Bentley..."

He heard a chuckle behind him and then two hands fell on Bill's shoulder massaging them slowly

"yes it is Billy!...your car... You've always dreamt of having one and after your last novel was published and pretty successful my boy decided to buy one..."

Bill also chuckled a bit as he looked up to meet Robert's eyes

"you mean...your men... I'm not a kid anymore..."

Robert's smile fade a little away but was still visible, he moved his eyes to the car and nodded rapidly as he let go of the wheelchair and opened the front car door

"of course...men...now let us get you in the car billy"

With Robert's help Bill was able to limp into the car without using the crutch...and it was the most difficult and painful thing he'd done.  
Shortly after that Robert hopped into the driver's seat and closed the door.

The drive was pure agony. An uncomfortable silence filled the car. Robert just drove and kept smiling at the road like he was in some sort of a trance, his right hand brushed over Bill's thigh until it took a grip of it making Bill wince up.

Bill wanted everything to turn back to normal as it was before he had the accident. So protesting about Robert touching him was no option right now. It would only encourage the already huge amount of awkwardness to get worse.

_It's fine, he's your husband, he's allowed to touch, don't freak out_

Bill gulped and kept repeating the words in his mind.

After what felt like hours they arrived in front of a large gate made of black iron bars which opened itself when Robert pulled a remote out of his pocket and pressed a small red button.

The house wasn't just any normal house. It was a huge villa with a large yard and even a swimming pool. Bill's mouth fell open

"good lord..."

"you like it? It's ours...only ours...the first time you saw it you loooved it...it's quiet... In the middle of nature with fresh air...and the most important....no loud or annoying neighbors"

That indeed sounded like Bill had chosen the mansion. Unlike Robert he was rather secluded from other people. Since his childhood Bill hadn't been keen on searching new contacts, he knows he had a few friends besides Richie when he was a kid. He just knows. He can see them as shadow figures right in front of him. But not their faces, they were erased from Bill's memory along with their names.

The reason for Bill's seclusion from other people reaches back to a traumatic experience he had in his childhood.  
The author sticked to the story of his brother's murder and his parent's abusive behavior as an aftermath when someone asked about the trauma. So whenever he felt stressed or anxious around people he could easily dissappear for longer time and use the story as an excuse for when he come back.  
But little did anyone know the truth behind Bill's withdrawn condition.  
He had experienced something worse than having his brother murdered.  
No one knew about it besides him. Not his friends, not his parents, no one.  
It was the worst day of his life and it would haunt his mind for eternity.

Even after Bill's accident he was still able to remember that day. As if that part of his memories hadn't been touched by the impact with the car. It was there....very clear and without one missing detail.

"Bill?...Bill."

Robert snapped his fingers in front of Bill's eyes tearing him out of the lake of thoughts he'd fallen in once again.

"silly Billy...the beauty of our home must have overwhelmed you hm?"

Robert chuckled and got out of the car. Bill took a few relaxing breaths before he opened the door to hop into the wheelchair.

They entered the mansion facing the hall first. Bill looked around fascinated. It was very old fashioned regarding to the wooden pillars that were visible and the old furniture.  
There was also a huge old mirror placed on the left wall right at the entrance and a silver chandelier hung from the ceiling.  
It was beautiful but also kind of empty. No photos, no decorations not even carpets. It looked too nice and tidy.

"you like it? I had to make sure it looks clean before you come home. I cleaned for you."

"yes that's...very nice of you Robert"

"do you like it?" 

"y-...yes I like it"

There was a short moment of silence between them. It seemed that Robert had expected a more positive and excited reaction from Bill. He glanced at him emotionless and Bill felt his heart starting to pound against his chest.  
Bill hated to make people furious. He never knew what was going to happen next and the last person he wanted to throw hands with was Robert.  
But that kind and at the same time creepy smile returned on the taller man's face after a few seconds. Robert took off his jacket and held it in his arms as he walked past Bill to the living room

"alrighty! Then let's move on...come and see the living room..."

Bill exhaled relieved. This peculiarly being quiet and staring at nothing for a few moments thing Robert kept doing gave Bill the chills. But he had to get along with it, just like Robert got along with Bill being a huge mess sometimes.

The rest of the mansion was similar to the hall. Old fashioned but beautiful.

In the evening Robert intended to prepare a romantic dinner which he had to blow off because Bill had fallen asleep on the couch.

It stared at him in his sleep. The whole night the monster just stood there and stared at Bill like he was the little wounded prey It was about to feast on.  
It didn't move or flinch or blink.

Everything was perfect. Just like It had imagined it to be.

Nothing stood in It's way anymore. It only had to get rid of the losers. Then Bill would be ready to leave the days of being human behind him and become an eternal creature just like **It**

The next morning Bill woke up in their bedroom. Next to him a little note Robert had left before leaving to get some stuff done.  
The note didn't say anything special but having Robert out of the house was what Bill waited for 

He needed to investigate the things around here on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh well


	4. Chapter 4

_The crutch. Where is the crutch...don't tell me he left it downstairs_

Bill sighed and ran a hand over his face frustrated. How would he be able to investigate if he couldn't even get out of bed.  
He could limp and it was definitely possible as he had to do so in the hospital. But that would be painful

The nurses forced Bill to try and walk, the reason for doing it was that Bill needed to exercise his injured foot and not only hold it still. The pain he felt at each step was unimaginable yet he had to make a specific number of steps until he was done.  
At that time the author got angry at the doctors who tormented him like that and decided to tell Robert about it knowing very well that he would make a huge scandal out of it. Bill was right.  
He could still hear Robert's furious yells from that day in his mind.

As for now Bill realized that the tears and sweat and screams he had wasted in all of those hours of exercise were worth it.  
He was able to get up from the bed, still holding onto the bed of course, and take a step.  
As long as he didn't put much pressure on the injuried foot by stepping on his toes for too long Bill could limp without the crutch.

A few breaths were taken and he started to move to the door. The staircase was right next to the bedroom so it should be easy to get down, take the crutch and look around properly right?

False.

As soon as Bill got to the stairs his face dropped.  
It would take him hours until he would reach the last stair. Robert would be coming home and see him struggling to get down, then he would help Bill by taking him in his arms and placing him on the couch in the living room and that's how Bill's great plan of exploring the house would find an end. There was no time to waste, Bill already didn't know when Robert had left which means he could be home by any minute.  
While still standing at the top of the stairs Bill even had a short thought of just throwing himself down. It would hurt like A LOT but on the one hand he wouldn't need to spend hours on hoping down with only one foot.  
On the other hand he would end up in the hospital again. Probably with two broken legs.

Thankfully the thought vanished quickly and Bill decided against it.  
He had no choice. His left hand took a hold of the railing next to the stairs and just like that Bill had to balance himself on one foot and also hop on it at the same time.  
If there was only one small thing that would distract him and make him lose his concentration he'd either fall down the stairs or step on his injured foot. Either way both would hurt like hell and only make his already bad condition worse.  
Which meant Bill would be dependent on Robert's help for even longer time.  
He already hated to admit that without Robert's help Bill couldn't do things by himself.  
It would be so much easier if his hand had been in the state his foot was currently.

It's not that Bill didn't accept Robert's help. But he also didn't want a special treatment.  
Robert's kind of helping out was much more like he was taking care of a child not an adult.  
The way he treated Bill was nowhere bad but he talked to Bill as if he was an elementary school student. Insisted on bathing him, helping him out with changing clothes, brushing his teeth and even feeding him.  
Things Bill was perfectly capable of doing it by himself. Ridiculous.

At certain days in the hospital when Bill could barely move because of the pain, Robert had insisted on feeding him.  
Even though Bill wasn't hungry Robert **forced** him to eat but only if he was the one to drive the fork past Bill's lips.  
Never in his life before had the author experienced such a sexual atmosphere while eating.  
The glances Robert gave him, the way he brushed the fork over Bill's lips, him licking his own lips as his eyes stayed fixed on the ones of Bill. Robert's desire to finally touch him was so predictable.  
It was most likely that he waited for Bill to ask for it, there was a very thin barrier between them which would break as soon as Bill would give Robert a signal. Even if it was going to be a small one.

Bill didn't know how much time he had spent on limping down the stairs. He supposed that half an hour must have passed already because of the longer breaks he took and sat down to curse himself for being dumb enough to run in front of a car and get hit.

There were only a few more steps to take until he would reach the living room.  
Bill hurried and a smile grew on his face as soon as he saw he crutch laying on the ground next to the couch.  
He took it and immediately felt relieved as he leaned on it.

Bill already knew which room he needed to look first through. Robert's office.  
When Robert showed him the house first they passed by that room but Robert didn't want to show it Bill explicitly. He just said that he used it for writing emails or for work and that was it. Was he hiding something?

When Bill entered the room there was nothing eye-catching or unreagular.

Just like in any other office there was a large dark wooden desk with a black chair in front of it, two huge shelves (also dark wooden) filled with different types of books and a window right in front of the desk.  
The walls of the room were also made out of wood and Bill glided his hand over one of the walls. (He has watched enough movies to try and find something like a secret door. It was ridiculous but worth trying)

Bill limped to one of the shelves to take a look and realized quickly that the books were mainly Robert's taste.

Of course some of the books were the ones Bill had written, he asked himself if Robert had ever read one of his novels and what his opinion was on them.  
Bill's fingertips brushed over the other books until he just randomly pulled one out of the shelf.  
The crutch digged itself into Bill's armpit while he used both hands to open the book at a random page right in the middle.  
His cheeks flushed hot red at the image he had in front of him printed on the page. It was some kind of a sexual position with a short caption written under it.  
Bill turned the page quickly only to find more sexual positions between two people with an instruction below. The only pages without those images where the ones where the title described ' _how to please your partner'_ followed by a long text. Bill didn't bother to read it.

"Jesus Christ Robert..."

He murmured and pushed the book back in the shelf between the others. But he didn't give up. His fingers brushed again over the books to give one of them a second try.  
The one he tugged out this time looked more innocent and Bill opened it.

"are you kidding m-..."

Did this guy really just sit down in his free time and read this kind of books for hours?

The second book he gave a try wasn't much better than the first one. It didn't have images but the writing was more then auspiciously.  
Bill had to read only one short paragraph and his dick already gave an interested twitch.

His hands closed the book hard enough that a loud thud emerged from it. Bill pressed his forehead against the cover of the book, his eyes closed and teeth clamped shut.  
He couldn't waste the time by jerking off, especially not when Robert could just burst into the happening at any moment.

Luckly Bill was able to calm himself down by thinking of some boring stuff. He pushed the book back in the shelf and tilted his head up to look at the top of the shelf. Like already mentioned nothing eye-catching rested there and Bill surely didn't want to open another one of Robert's erotic novels.  
Something told him that both of the shelves in this room were filled with those books. That didn't do any good for Bill, he needed informations or at least something that told him how everything was before he had the accident.

The time was ticking and Bill sat in the black chair trying to get access to Robert's white laptop.  
He tried all kind of possible passwords but without success.

After some more time he rested his elbows on the desk and rubbed his face with both hands in frustration. Bill's eyes were focused on the empty space for the password. His palms sticked to each side of his face when he started to give himself very light slaps.

The sound of parking car filled his ears and Bill shot up from the chair. He closed the laptop quickly and pushed the chair back to the desk. Everything had to look like before.  
Bill managed to limp as fast as possible to the living room and throw himself on the couch before he heard keys at the door and then the handle being pushed open.

On a little table in front of the couch were a few magazines. Bill grasped the one that was laying on top of the others and leaned back into the couch.

"little buddy..."

Bill lifted his face from the book to meet a confused Robert standing at the entrance of the living room with purchases in his arms.

"R... Robert...Hey!"

_Act_ _normal idiot, not suspicious, stop sweating, stop stuttering, he's gonna notice_

"are...you alright? You look...befuddled..."

Robert's glance made Bill wonder. Did he not expect him to sit here?

Shorty after those words left Bill's mouth Robert grew a smile on his face and moved to the kitchen

"oh it's nothing...I just remembered that I forgot to get you your new phone dear... I'm sorry"

Bill pulled himself upright and threw the magazine back on the little white table

"that's alright..."

"I'll get you one as soon as I go down to the village again"

The living room and the kitchen were connected. Which means it was practically a huge open living room with a kitchen in it.  
Bill watched Robert from the couch emptying the purchases and decided to build up a conversation.

Bill took the crutch and approached the island kitchen. As soon as Robert saw him coming he stopped his doing and walked around the island to help Bill get on one of the barstools.

"thanks..."

Bill smiled kindly and Robert grinned back then returned to his spot and turned his back on Bill.

Bill placed his forearms on the granite table top and clasped his hands together. His gaze was on Robert's back and once again he found himself slipping to deep with it as his eyes were suddenly fixed on Robert's bottom.

After emptying the bags of food Robert turned around and caught Bill's head turning away quickly.

"aw...saw something that you liked?"

Robert asked while turning on the stove that was in front of Bill.

"w-...no... I was just I mean-..yes I like you!...I just fell in thoughts"

Robert chuckled and turned away again.

"don't get agitated darling I was just kidding..."

"right..."

He needed something to talk about. This weird silence came back and Bill hated it. A marriage shouldn't be like this. Your partner should be your best friend right? You could talk to him about everything and laugh all the time.

_Think of something...come on...find a topic to talk about_

"I like the the books in your office"

_Not that topic dumbass!!_

"what?"

Robert turned around. His face didn't look like he was but Bill could literally feel how surprised Robert was by Bill's words. He clearly didn't expect it

"I mean-..."

Bill sighed. His face burned. Was it even worth it to still try and justify himself?  
He looked up to see Robert lick his top lip while regarding Bill.

"naughty Billy... I never allowed you to look through my stuff..."

Robert hissed. Bill's heart quickened, the blood rushed through his veins and he felt as if a huge dollop got stuck in his throat.

"...but...I am quite surprised by the way my little buddy spent his time alone...did you read?"

Robert asked and approached Bill again.

"a little bit...I was curious.."

There was a short silence. Bill was so ashamed he didn't dare to meet Robert's eyes so he just looked down at his sweating hands.

"Billy look at me"

Bill hesitated

"come on...look at me..."

After some more seconds he eventually gave in and tilted his head to see Robert right in front of his face. Bill winced and his eyes widened a bit.  
Robert had this weird habit of doing things so quietly you wouldn't even notice him. It creeped Bill out whenever he did that but at the same time he started to get accommodated to it.

"kiss me"

And with those words Robert shove Bill over the edge. His heart pounded in his chest so loud you could hear it even if you stood a few feet away from Bill.  
The last time he had kissed Robert was when Robert complained about Bill not having enough time for him. It almost happened subconsciously and random and it didn't last longer than a few seconds.

"alright...then I'll kiss you"

Bill opened his mouth to say something and Robert took the opportunity to kiss him.  
His lips were soft and Bill felt himself melting into the kiss. His eyes closed slowly and he started to return the kiss. Robert's tongue was surprisingly long and thick and Bill could practically feel how it invaded his mouth.  
Robert had no trouble without breathing for longer time but Bill leaned back after some moments taking some air in his lungs.  
Robert tasted kind of sweet as if he'd just ate candies or cake. Maybe he did when he was gone.

"mmm... I want more"

The taller man said and turned of the stove. He was ready to skip dinner and go upstairs to get intimate already. But Bill wasn't. He was far from that.  
He liked kissing Robert but for now it was the only near sexual experience he wanted with him.

"m-...maybe after dinner?..."

"Aw you are no fun Billy...don't torture me like that.."

Robert answered in a mock-hurt voice and pouting lips.

"we should eat first...how about we catch up the romantic dinner you wanted to do yesterday....with some wine?"

"but you don't like wine Billy"

Robert answered and folded his arms.

"I...am willing to drink it with you this evening and make everything as romantic as possible.."

Robert's impossibly creepy and wide smile returned and Bill felt relieved as he watched him turn the stove back on

While Robert cooked in front of Bill an italian meal he actually proved himself to be a quite good chef. Probably another one of the reasons why Bill made Robert his husband.

Later on at the table they both chatted about Bill's novels and to his surprise Robert had read every single one. He even liked the endings. He liked it to end in a disaster or tragedy. He mentioned that it was a joy to read the book and have the thought that everything will be fine until he comes to the end and something horrible happens.  
It thrilled Bill but at the same time he was more than happy that Robert enjoyed his endings.

"did you like the food?"

Bill wiped his mouth with a white napkin and nooded then placed it on his white plate

"congrats to the chef...it was delicious"

Robert stood up and stretched his body.

"how about I bring you upstairs, come back to do the dishes and then massage your foot?"

Robert's offer gave Bill a warm feeling and he agreed also standing up from the chair.  
But before he could grab the crutch he felt himself lifted up onto Robert's arms.  
His arms gathered around Robert's neck quickly as he didn't expect this to happen and didn't want to fall.  
It was impressive how much strength Robert must have had much strength to lift Bill up so easy and carry him as if he didn't even weigh a pound.

Before going up the stairs Bill noticed a door in the hallway he could have sworn wasn't there when they first had a look at the house.  
His mouth opened to ask about it but closed again. Maybe he should keep it to himself that he saw that door or else Robert could prevent him from looking what's inside.  
There had to be a reason why Robert didn't show him that room.

Once they got in the bedroom the taller man placed Bill on his back on the bed carefully.

"be right back my toy"

"your w-.."

"my boy"

Robert left the room before Bill could ask. He was more than sure he heard Robert say _'toy'_ and not _'boy'_

This was bad. This was very bad. That men was down there doing dishes with the thought of coming back up and getting rewarded by fucking Bill.

Bill turned off the lights then took his clothes off and just threw them on the floor. He could hear Robert from downstairs hurrying with taking the dishes from the table and washing them.  
It was like a competition. Bill hurried to get in bed and attempt to sleep and Robert hurried to get done with the dishes and make love to Bill. Who would win?

By the time he finally returned to the room Bill did it to lay in bed on his side with his back turned to Robert and the blanket pulled up to his ear.  
Robert unbuttoned his dark shirt then opened his trousers and let them drop to the floor.

Bill was curled up to the side, the blanket almost covered his entire face. He prayed for Robert to just get in bed and sleep.

The bed dipped under Robert's weight and Bill could feel a wave of cold air at his back when Robert pulled the blanket up to get under it.  
At first Bill sighed in relief quietly but winced as he felt an arm making its way around his abdomen.

"turn around Billy..."

Robert's hand brushed over Bill's stomach softly but when it got lower Bill immediately turned around to face Robert laying so close to him their noses almost touched.

"you nervous?"

Robert chuckled and drove his hand from Bill's neck down his spine until he cupped the smaller men's left butt cheek and gave it a hard squeeze. His nails bit so deep in Bill's flesh he could already imagine himself standing in front of the mirror and gazing the bruises Robert would have left.  
Bill was far too excited to swallow down the moan that just escaped his throat. Maybe he should give in and let Robert do his thing

" R-...Robert I-.."

"don't talk...kiss me instead"

Bill opened his mouth to protest but he barely managed to let a word out before Robert swallowed the rest in a deep kiss.

He pulled Bill closer to him until their stomachs pressed against each other. His other hand sunk into Bill's hair to hold him in place.  
It was so intense, so intimate and Bill loved it. He felt **safe** in Robert's arms and he couldn't deny it anymore that he indeed was ready to make love to his beloved men  
He slipped both arms around Robert's neck and dragged him even closer so that Robert was almost laying on top of him.  
They both moaned into the kiss and Robert, with a smile of victory, lowered his face to place delicate kisses on Bill's throat.

Bill closed his eyes and melted into the warm feeling of Robert's lips against his neck.

He couldn't wait for Robert to kiss down his body it felt so good, so right...it felt.....it felt just like in his wedding night...

Bill's eyes shot open as a pair of two yellow shinning eyes flashed through his mind, he could hear screams in the back of his head. Horrible muffled screams and an intese disgusting laugh.  
The author pushed hard at Robert almost making him fall off the bed and sat himself upright drawing his knees up to his chest. As soon as he did so the screams stopped and the yellow shinning eyes vanished.

"what the-...what the hell do you think your doing?!"

Robert yelled. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes turned dark while eyeing Bill with an angry glimpse.

"I-.. I-... I'm not in the m-muh-mood!"

Shit. Since when did he stutter again? And why was it that bad?

"now you listen to me brat"

Robert grasped him by his ankle and pulled Bill close to himself.  
His fingers tightened around Bill's jaw almost crushing because of his strength.  
Robert leaned down to meet Bill's eyes and right in this moment Bill could swear he was caught in the glance of pure evil.  
The feeling of being safe in Robert's arms he just had a few seconds ago faded away and got replaced with fright.

"I did **not** sit in that **fucking** chair for entire weeks waiting and taking care of you without getting and even if it was just a little bit of appreciation **back"**

Robert growled. His nose wrinkled up to bare his teeth at Bill as if he was some kind of wild animal that was just a second away from attacking.

Bill's skin beaded with sweat. He wasn't capable of saying something even if he wanted to.  
He felt as if he'd just swallowed down his tonuge.

"you better start getting accommodated with the idea of me being your husband because I swear...."

His index finger glid over Bill's right cheek softly and suddenly Robert's voice changed to sweet and quiet.

"...as soon as I'm not able to control myself anymore... I'll fuck the crap out of you Bill..."

Bill's eyes widened even more. Not in his deepest fantasies would he have thought that Robert had such a dark side.  
He was _so_ close to having a panic attack. His limbs trembled, not extremely or uncontrollable, but they trembled

"now...we wouldn't want that to happen would we?..."

Robert let go of Bill's jaw and stroked his chest slowly.

"Billy wants the easy way right?"

Robert asked. That horrible smile returned and stretched itself over his face.  
Robert expected Bill to answer but he was out of function of getting a clear answer out of himself.

"answer me Billy."

Bill slowly looked up watching Robert with _fear_ in his eyes still not talking.

"answer me Billy or I'll have to hurt you....you should answer because I won't have trouble with hurting you" 

"I-...I want the...e-...easy way"

"oh yes you do little buddy....you do..."

Robert's hand cupped Bill's jaw again and pulled it into a kiss.  
Bill had to force the urge to bite on Robert's tongue down as it invaded his mouth again.  
After what felt like whole minutes Robert sat up leaving a trail of saliva between their mouths.

"that's a good boy!"

He said and gave Bill a very light slap on his cheek.

"you ruined my good mood...that was very impolite Billy...but I'll forgive you "

Robert got up from the bed and took his pants and shirt which he threw on the wooden floor earlier.

"I'll go for a walk...good night love.."

Bill watched him with horror leaving the room. He sighed loudly as soon as he heard the front door click. His breaths were short and unregular.

After some time Bill settled down facing the wooden ceiling. He regulared his breaths again and the trembling stopped.  
He placed his both hands on his chest, his fingertips poking it.

Robert just gave him the reason to definitely be worried that something wasn't right here.  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on it's going to get reeeally weird


	5. Chapter 5

_"you left me!"_

_"All of you!"_

_"My friends!"_

_"My family! "_

_"The only people that still cared about me!" he cried_

_"you have no idea what happened! What I saw, what I felt! You were not supposed to stab me in the back like that! Traitors!" he screamed, his hands turned into fists, his face red, tears of frustration ran down his cheeks and his body shook violently_

_"TRAITORS!"_

_"traitors!"_

_"tr-...traitors"_

________________

Bill opened his eyes. He found trouble in breathing as if something heavy sat down on his chest constricting his breath.

The young men scrambled and tried to suck in air desperately. His white t-shirt beaded in sweat. Hands dugged into the bed sheets and his heart raced.

It happened again.  
He couldn't remember the last time this forsaken dream haunted his mind but some years had passed since he dreamt it and it came back. For the first time in years it came back.

It was always the same scenario.  
Him screaming at his friends, everything around them is the void. Pure darkness.  
Richie stands at the forefront just a few meters away from him, Eddie and Mike right behind of him. Mike watches Bill straight in the eyes while Eddie faces the ground.  
Stan and Ben try to hide behind the backs of Eddie, Mike and Richie avoiding Bill's desperate glances.

All of them are dirty, wet, covered in unknown liquids, full of open wounds and scratches.

_Look at me! While I'm dying you look at me!_

Beverly was the one who turned her back to them. All of them. Bill never saw her face in the dream. Every single time she just stood there facing the darkness. Her dress looking like it has been dunked in a lake full of dead bodies.

Bill's attention was mainly focused on Richie.  
He never moved or said anything in his dream. He had painful open wounds from the former fight with Pennywise on his arms and legs yet he just stood there keeping his mouth shut. His glasses were somehow so fogged that Bill never saw his eyes when he screamed at him.

But this time the dream was different. The place was the same, yes, and everyone stood right where they were supposed to. Richie at the forefront with the others behind him and Beverly a few meters away from them watching the emptiness.  
The same scenario except for the fact that Richie was the only one that was actually visible.  
The others were once again shadow figures.  
Bill could see the outlines of their bodies but they were shadows.  
His lost memory seemed to also have affected his dreams.

Just like when he was awake he couldn't remember their names or their faces.

Bill slowly got up from the bed and looked around the room for Robert.  
They haven't talked since the incident a few days ago.

As much as Bill hated to admit it he kind of missed Robert.  
They barely saw each other the past days nor did they talk or make eye contact.

Robert must feel sorry and a little bit ashamed for losing his temper.  
Maybe he didn't know how to apologize properly and was waiting for Bill to make the first step.

It sounded more than ridiculous but Bill got to the point where he would take every possible excuse to talk to him.

Bill took a hold of the crutch and moved to the door. Once again it took him some time to get down but it didn't bother him as he didn't have to hurry anyway.

Robert was sitting on the gray couch (ironically enough) his eyes fixed on the newspaper that was laying on the small white table. In his right hand he held a black mug with a red balloon printed on it that he drove up to his lips to take a zip.

When Bill entered the room Robert kept quiet. He didn't even tilt his head up to greet him. His eyes stayed fixed on the newspaper as he turned the page to read another article.  
Bill gulped and took a deep breath.

"Hey..." he said barely audible

"good morning Bill." Robert responded not granting Bill a single look.

Robert not calling him by his nickname gave Bill the chills. He sounded death serious. Just like he was in that evening

"Look I-" Bill sighed "I know it's hard to swallow down the pride sometimes but...its okey to apologize Robert...I'll forgive you and we can talk..."

Robert's face grimaced as he leaned back onto the couch. His eyebrows furrowed and he turned his head to Bill. Once again he brought the mug up to his lips

"what makes you think I feel sorry for what happened little buddy?"

He said sounding almost amused by Bill's words before taking another gulp of the cold coffee.  
Bill stood there in silence. How was he supposed to answer that? He actually thought Robert felt sorry just didn't want to push his pride aside.

"you-....you don't?"

He asked.

"of course not darling...I think it was nice of me to warn you"

_Son of a-..?!_

_"_ are...are you serious right now?"

Bill asked. His eyes wide open not believing what Robert just forced out of his mouth. His grip on the crutch got stronger and his other hand turned into a fist

"I am love...If I had wanted to sleep in bed I easily would have...but because of my generosity I thought I'll let you enjoy the last few days of doing whatever you want...before I get my hands on you properly"

His voice was so sweet, his eyes promised kindness and a good soul yet his words made Bill's stomach twist.

"w-..w-...what are you t-...talking about?"

"since you insisted on being a naughty ignorant and selfish little brat this took a turn I didn't expect...we gonna have to change some things Billy...get you some manners"

He answered and put the mug on the table then placed his elbows on his thighs and sunk his chin in his palms.

"get **me** some manners?"

"yes yes! You will learn how to be a good boy and how to obey me...and if you don't... Oh Billy..."

Robert's mouth escaped a sweet giggle.

"...you'll have to run because if I get my hands on you...oh you'll regret the day you were born"

Bill froze. Luckily he managed to force the urge to scream down by clenching his teeth as hard as possible together. His jaw started to ache.

"...but regarding your injured foot you won't get too far before I catch-....and punish you..."

Robert's face stretched into that sick-making grin again. Bill knew that if he would stand up from that couch right in that moment and approach him, Bill would scream at the top of his lungs.

Silence gathered itself in the room when Robert startet laughing out loud. A horrible distorted laugh.

Bill watched him now rather confused than horrified. His heart raced. He slowly moved his hand lower on the crutch to use it as a weapon against Robert if he made an attempt to get any closer to Bill.

"got you good love" Robert laughed wiping a tear from his left eye with his index finger

The grip on the crutch slackened and Bill's heart cooled down.

"come here so I can apologize to you"

He said and patted his lap.  
Bill hesitated but limped over to Robert. The taller man welcomed Bill with open arms and pulled him into his lap.  
His right hand coiled around Bill's waist while the other placed itself on his thighs.  
Robert yanked him closer to whisper in his ear.

"I am sorry for making you afraid of me Billy. It won't happen again. It was just a small loss of control"

No words on earth could have sounded more made up than the ones of Robert just spoke.  
The regret in his voice was not present. It sounded so monotone and dry.  
Robert wasn't sorry. He couldn't care less.

But maybe that was just how his voice was. After all he already acts weird in some situations and does some things no normal human would do. Like his talking thing and then closing his mouth out of nowhere and staring at nothing for maximum 5 minutes.

Bill sighed in relief. Robert was right. That night was just an innocent loss of control or how he named it... 'accident'

"so?...do you forgive me Billy? Do you forgive your husband?"

He asked eagerly.

"yes...I forgive you Robert" Bill responded with an unsure smile.

"good boy!"

Robert exclaimed and pulled Bill closer for a kiss.  
The trust was rebuilt and everything seemed to have gotten back to normality, though there still was a thing Bill wanted to check.

The door.

That white door he saw when Robert carried him up a few days ago. The thought of taking a look at whatever was behind that door implanted itself in Bill's head.

He needed Robert out of the house. Just one more time. Something deep inside of him told him that Robert would try to avoid telling him what's in there. So he needed to look by himself.

The phone. Robert promised Bill to get him a new phone the moment he got down to the village again. That would be an excellent excuse. Telling him that he needed to contact his manager and his friends and family etc.  
That should work.

While Bill planned each step in his mind how to get rid of Robert one more time he found himself making out with him.  
This got in the wrong direction and would eventually end up like in the other night.

So Bill pulled away leaving a trail of saliva between them again.  
Robert licked his upper lip and immediately leaned forward to fish himself another one of those long kisses. But Bill placed his both hands on his chest pushing him back softly.

Robert took hold of Bill's wrists and moved them up to his lips so he could kiss the back of Bill's hands..

"don't you want to give me another kiss?"

He asked and placed small delicate kisses on Bill's hands. His half lidded eyes meeting Bill's.

"I wanted to ask you something the past few days...about that...phone you wanted to get me"

Bill said quietly. Robert sunk let go of Bill's wirsts. His mouth formed into a thin line and raised one of his eyebrows.

"the phone?... Oh!...the phone!...yes... I told you I would get you one when I-.."

"yea it's just..." Bill interrupted him and scratched the back of his scalp. "None of my managers or friends or family members heard anything from me...I think I should talk to them as soon as possible and rearrange all my meetings and stuff"

Robert was clearly not agreeing with Bill's words. But the had no choice. He needed to maintain the trust of his little buddy or the plan would collapse.

"I guess I could make a run for it tomorrow..."

That's it. Robert offered him the perfect opportunity and he would take it.

"but." Robert added

Bill watched him confident enough to do whatever Robert wanted in return. His senses told him that behind that white door were the answers to what really happened in that night waiting to get discovered.

"you'll have to give me something in return Billy..."

"that's fine by me. Tell me what you want" he said folding his arms

"I want your sweet little mouth" Robert giggled and dragged his index finger slowly over Bill's bottom lip.

"my...my what?"

"your mouth....you'll do me a favor...and I'll get you your brand new phone darling..."

He wouldn't make him....would he?

"what do you mean by **favor** Robert?"

"don't play dumb with me Billy...you'll get your head between my legs and suck me off." He answered crudely and ran his hands over Bill's thighs squeezing them.

The words sounded so much worse when Robert said them. It would take a whole lot of pride for Bill to swallow down to get over with such a request but he had no choice.

"you want me to..."

"you'll give me a blow job" Robert said once again his voice rather excited this time

"I-... I don-.."

" no excuses Billy. Your mouth and your throat are in perfect condition. You either do it and get your new phone or.....you'll have to wait...for a looong time"

He added with a gloating grin spreading across his face.

Bill watched him in silence then slowly moved from Roberts lap to his knees.

"now that's a good boy aren't you?"

Robert quickly opened his belt followed by his pants to free his already hard cock. How the hell did he not feel it when he sat on Robert's lap?  
It was enorme. Way bigger then Bill's and he doubted to get even half of it in his mouth.

"don't make me wait Billy"

Robert growled and spread his legs wide open then grasped Bill by his T-shirt and pulled him close enough to already feel the heat of Bill's breath against the tip of his cock.

Bill managed to stop the touch of his lips and Robert's cock, before it could have even started, by placing his hands on Robert's thighs and pulling back.

"come on..."

Robert growled once again but let go of Bill's T-shirt. He clearly needed some time. Robert found it hard to restrain himself from just shoving his cock down Bill's throat, but that would only cause unnecessary trouble.  
So he leaned back into the couch and let Bill admire the appendage.

Bill kept quiet. He indeed admired it and took a deep breath before he let go of Robert's thighs and moved on his knees closer to Robert.

"come on..."

Robert said for the second time, his cock already leaking with precum. He moved his hand to his cock and pressed it into Bill's direction with his thumb.

Bill nodded and awkwardly ran his tongue across the head getting a taste of the precum. It didn't taste bad...but kind of strange.  
He opened his mouth letting the head rest on his tongue and Robert slowly pushed his hips forward

It didn't take him long before Bill started to suck on the tip making Robert moan out loud.  
He took a fistful of Bill's hair and dragged him deeper.  
Bill's eyes closed while he was focused on breathing and forcing his gag reflex down.  
To his misfortune Robert didn't seem to want to wait any longer and shoved the whole thing down Bill's throat at once.  
Bill's gag reflex kicked in and he tried to pull himself upright.  
But Robert held him down for good. He was impossibly strong and Bill felt a sharp pain as Robert's fingers twisted in his hair hardenen the girp.  
Robert held him down for a few moments before slowly pulling his head back up. Tears gathered in Bill's eyes and he took large breaths as soon as Robert pulled out.

"see? It fits. Now go on."

Robert said trying as hard as possible to maintain the seriousness in his voice.

Bill's cheeks burned with embarrassment. He managed to hold the tears back und gently wrapped his hand around the base of Robert's cock. He leaned back down and pushed it past his lips again.

This time Robert's fingernails bit into the couch and his head fell back. Loud moans filled the room.  
Hearing Robert the sounds he was making Bill felt more confident and caressed Robert's cock with his tongue.  
His head lowered taking more of it into his mouth and making the sweetest wet slurping sounds.  
Bill worked his way down until he could feel the head pressing against the back of his throat.  
After some minutes of accommodation Bill's head moved for- and backwards, his hand pumped the lower part he wasn't able reach or else he would be stopped from breathing.  
Robert's hips trusted harder when he once again digged his hand into Bill's hair.  
Bill found himself moaning around Robert's cock. Right in this moment he seemed to have forgotten the actual reason for doing it.  
The desire of making Robert fall apart, of making him a hot mess and of making him lose his coolness burned in his stomach.

His hand quickened and Bill pulled his head back up to lick around the head. He was close. Robert's voice finally cracked as he hollowed broken moans and the grip in Bill's hair hardened again.  
That was it.

_Now...take him..._

Bill pushed back down this time taking the whole appendage for the second time down his throat.  
Shortly after that he could feel Robert cumming. Wanting to get up Robert held him in place filling his stomach with an unusual huge load.

Not being able to breathe Bill took a hard grip of Robert's wrist to get his hand out of his hair without success.  
After some more moments Bill's eyes rolled up and he was sure he was about to black out when Robert suddenly pulled him back up.

Tears ran down Bill's cheeks as he took mouthfuls of air. His face was hot red and beads of sweat formed on his skin.

"you did so well..."

Robert purred and pushed his thumb past Bill's chin to wipe the cum that was dripping from his mouth away.

"you deserve a reward...I'll get you your phone"

Bill smiled weakly. His jaw ached and he felt incredibly full. His stomach sent a feeling of warmth through his whole body. Not once in his life had he felt humiliated and proud at the same time but being able to break Robert's calmness like that made him burn with pride.

Robert got up and buckled his pants. His sight wandered down at the mess named Bill.

"well well...seems like you enjoyed it just as much as I did little buddy..."

Bill gave him a confused look then slowly moved his eyes down at his crotch to see a stain on it.  
He didn't even notice being hard let alone cumming...Robert did things to him no one ever did. That thought made him shrug and Bill closed his eyes, they felt heavy, all of the sudden he was so tired.  
A hand softly stroked his left cheek and Bill leaned in the touch.

"be right back love...then I'll take care of you...I neglected you way too much the past few days"

Robert placed a kiss on Bill's forehead and walked towards the kitchen to get some water for the two of them.

Bill clunched with his teeth.  
No matter how often he swallowed the remains of Robert's cum just wouldn't get down.  
It was sticky and he could feel parts of it glued to his throat.  
Bill stretched his arm out for the glass when Robert returned and took long sips.  
The rest of the day was rather calm. Robert was a bit too quiet and kind of not present but that didn't bother Bill at all.

Although movies weren't really Bill's passion he actually enjoyed watching a few with Robert and after some hours during the night Bill fell asleep on the couch in Robert's arms.

Robert's chin rested on Bill's head. His arms pulled thight around the smaller man as though he was protecting him from something. His right hand stroking Bill's back and the left one his shoulder blade.  
Right before falling asleep Bill also pulled his arms around Robert wanting to be as much as possible close to him.

He hadn't realized it yet but Bill was indeed desperate for Robert's attention. Starved for physical touch and loving attention. Except for that one evening Robert turned out to take his role as the loving husband very serious.

______________

The sound of rolling wheels woke Bill up. He put himself in an upright position when he realized Robert wasn't there. Which means the sound of the wheels must have been the car.

Perfect timing. He woke up the second Robert left their residence.

Bill exhaled and ran a hand over his face massaging his eyes with his fingers.  
He felt nauseous and his head throbbed.

He put his arms in the air and stretched out. He figured that maybe he needed something to eat.  
After giving Robert a blow job yesterday he'd lost his appetite and refused to eat anything for the rest of the day.  
Maybe that made him feel so sick. Although it was clean he still had that strange sensation of the remains of Robert's load being attached to the inner of his throat.

He needed some water and maybe a pill to stop his head from throbbing so badly.  
He moved to the edge of the couch and slowly stood up.  
His foot was not entirely healed yet but he made great progress. He still had to use the crutch to move faster but probably not for too many more months from now on.

On the way to the kitchen Bill's eyes wandered to the panoramic windows that showed the huge yard and the swimming pool they had.  
The clouds on the sky were dark. Impossibly dark.

It gave Bill a bad feeling but that wasn't unusual for him.  
Whenever the clouds turned dark and it rained for hours Bill always tried to distract himself.  
Rainy days reminded him of the day his life went downhill.  
It reminds him of Georgie, his parents and the one thing he hoped so bad for to also have forgotten after he had the accident.  
He didn't mind the short rains where clouds have the color of light gray and the rays of the sun already peek through them to indicate that the rain is over.  
But on days such as this where the clouds are so huge they crash against each other and cause loud thunders, the ones where you know it's going to rain for hours and need to turn on the lights because it's so dark. These are days that made Bill reclude from the world, and seemed that one of those days was about to begin.

Once arrived at the kitchen island he saw the two empty glasses he and Robert drank out yesterday. Next to them a half full water bottle.  
He took the bottle and poured the water in one of the glasses not caring if it was either his or Robert's.

Bill sat down on one of the stools and observed the trees and bushes outside that swung around due to the wind.

It's going to be an awfully rainy and stormy day and Bill's mood sunk. But not enough to intimidate the plan of looking what was behind that door.

The door.

What the hell was he doing? Sitting around admiring the yard and falling into thoughts? He was wasting his own time.

The author rapidly drank the rest of the water in his glass and got down from the stool.  
He limped over to the hallway and there she was.

A spark of triumph filled his tummy as he got closer and pulled the silver handle. To Bill's surprise the door was open.  
He took a step back and opened the door regretting it on the instant.  
The wave of a horrible stench hit him right in the face.  
He immediately gagged and coughed. His head turned away from the entrance as he kept coughing. After some minutes of trying to accommodate to the stench Bill dragged his shirt over his mouth and nose.  
His attention turned back to the entrance.  
There was a very slim hallway with an also slim staircase that went down.  
The light switch that was right at the top of the stairs got ignored due to the fact that down there at the end of the stairs something like a light seemed to shine.

Bill set his non-injured foot on the first step. He placed the hand that wasn't holding the crutch on the wall and started to move down. Step by step. Each of the stairs he put a foot on made that typical creak sound of old wood.

The first thing to take note of when he got down was the huge Hollywood mirror that reflected him.  
So that light he saw when he was at the top of the stairs came from the bulbs attached to the mirror.  
Bill grimaced and took the last step to touch the tiled floor with his bare feet.

The room he was rather rundown and reeked in the worst possible way.  
It was also windowless and only poorly lightened by the bulbs.

But where the hell did that fucking smell come from?

Bill turned to the mirror and moved closer. He looked down at the dirty wooden desk with a small stool in front of it and grimaced again.

The only thing to be found on it was something what looked like an old used lipstick.  
Bill took it in his hand and opened it. Red lipstick.

_The fuck?_

He sighed and placed it back on the desk. He was wasting his time. Robert liked to play with makeup and tried to hide it from Bill. No big deal. Just ridiculous.

The room didn't offer anything else spectacular. Besides the mirror and a few also wooden shelves pinned to one of the walls nothing caught his attention. But what was that racid stench though?

Due to the room being only brightened a bit by the weak light of the bulbs Bill was sure he didn't see all of it.  
There were a few corners that were far too dark to have the courage to go there.  
Bill considered going back up to turn on the light by the switch. But limping up and then back down with an injured foot would take too much time, maybe even wasted time.

He shook his head and wanted to go back up when something caught the glimpse of his eyes.  
There was something he somehow missed out when he got closer to the mirror.  
Under the desk was a medium-sized cardboard box.  
Bill pushed the small stool aside and kneeled down, the cold tiles giving him goosebumps.  
He placed the crutch down und cupped the box with both hands, then pulled it closer to have a proper look.

The box had greenish wet stains on it and smelled like shit. But not bad enough to be the reason why this whole room reeked so severe.

The first thing he brought into view was...a...costume?

A chuckle escaped Bill's lips when he realized it was something like a grey clown costume that had small jingle bells constricted around the wrist and ankle parts.  
The lipstick would make sense now. Just like Robert had mentioned he loved the circus. But so much that he turned himself into a clown?

But before he knew Bill's smile fade away when he saw red stains on the white ruffles.

_It could be paint? Yes. Most definitely paint. Why else would it be in this box? Because it's dirty and he can't get the color out of the costume. So he doesn't need it anymore._

It wasn't the best conclusion but one that didn't make him shudder with fear.  
Bill placed the costume next to him and turned his attention back to the box.  
A few more lipsticks, shoes that belonged to the costume (Bill guessed) and other stupid clown stuff.

Now he was definitely sure that he had wasted his time.  
His head was still throbbing and the bad feeling in his stomach due to the rainy day wasn't gone either.  
So he'd just spent his morning in this useless, reeking, dark room trying to find what? Robert's ridiculous preference for throwing pies and making stupid jokes?

_Fuck this_

Annoyed as hell, Bill was about to throw the costume back in the box when he the sound of something vibrating filled his ears. He leaned over the box and caught the glimpse of a light blue mobile phone hidden beneath a pair of two white gloves.

_Did Robert forget his phone down here?_

Bill pulled it out of the box and turned it around to face the screen. It had a huge crack through it and was also covered in a layer of dirt.

_Wait. Robert's phone was white, non branded and had a stupid red balloon on the back...this wasn't his..._

His eyebrows furrowed as he pushed the button on the side and watched the screen turning on.  
Luckily the phone didn't have a code so he had easy access to it.  
Bill's eyes widened as soon as he saw the background of himself with his favorite actress and he understood.  
This was his phone.  
The phone that supposedly fell out of Bill's pocket during his accident and broke.  
His heart started racing. Why would Robert lie to him?  
Suddenly the memory of the night when the car hit him flashed in front of his eyes.   
Bill blinked a few times, his breathing became unsteady and his limbs trembled slightly.

_Move_

Luckily the phone's percentage was at 34%. Enough to make some calls.  
He quickly threw the other things back into box covering them with the costume and pushed the whole thing back under the desk.  
Picking up the crutch from the tiles he wobbled to his feet and kicked the stool back to it's place.

On his way to the stairs he heard a loud clatter before tripping and meeting the ground.  
Bill cried out in pain when he felt his injured foot getting caught in something.  
His head turned back to see an old rusted chain encircled around his foot.  
His right hand moved back to free his foot while the other one hold his balance.  
After taking a short break to breathe he grabbed the crutch and hurried up the stairs. After finding the phone and the stains on that costume Bill didn't even bother to think about the chain.

He swung the door behind him shut and pressed his back against it. Then opened the phone again and immediately went to his contacts.

So many names yet he couldn't remember a single one of them.  
The most reasonable idea was to call the single name and face he still remembered right? Richie.

He scrolled down the alphabet to take a look at all the people whose name started with the initial _R_

No Richie.  
This was bad.

He would have looked for the surname but like already mentioned the face and the first name was all he had from his friend.

Panic gathered in Bill's chest. His hands trembling to the point he could barely read the names printed on the screen. The storm outside pitching the windows so hard he thought they would break in a matter of seconds.  
The loud whistle sound of the wind screaming in his ears and his head now throbbing harder than ever before. He could _fee_ l himself losing the consciousness. The whistle sound of the wind turned into human screams in his ears. Painful tortured screams. A horrible laugh that compared itself to the one Robert had drowned out the screams and Bill was ready to pass out when a new notification popped on the screen.

Suddenly the screams stopped, the laugh as well and the loud whistle of the wind outside quieted down.

Bill lowered his head to take a look on his phone and saw a notification of a promotion....right above....his contact favorites list. The list he totally overlooked.  
His fingertip touched that space and 7 names categorizated by the alphabet appeared.  
This must be the names of his childhood friends. The names his mind missed for so long. The names that belonged to the shadow figures although he was more than sure they hadn't had two girls in their group.

There was Beverly and.... Audra...

But he could be wrong. After all he'd lost his memory so who knows if he hadn't lost a major part of his childhood.

The only name he trusted right now was Richie....and there it was.

_Richie Tozier_

He considered to press the calling sign but pulled his finger back when he saw the 'No signal' sign at the top of his phone.

"fuck this hooOUSE! "

Bill shouted and hurried to the stairs. For the first time since they came back to the mansion he accomplished to be at the first floor in under 15 min.  
Once there he limped to the balcony and eventually pressed the calling sign as he glanced to the heavy storm outside.

Bill pressed his forehead against the sliding glass door, his toes glid over the soft carpet as he bit down on his lower lip nervously.  
His eyes followed a rain drop sliding down the window before they closed. No one answered and just a second pefore ending the call he heard...

"now look who's seeking **_my_** attention during his honey moon... If it ain't big Bill" he heard the voice of his friend laughing.

Silence. His words stuck to his throat, adrenaline rushing through his veins so fast he didn't even know with which question he should start.

"missed my voice? Or why are you calling?" Richie chuckled

Still silence.

"Alright got it. No stupid jokes. Now what's up man?" Richie asked again while sitting on a black leather couch behind the stage waiting for his next show to begin.

Bill gulped and opened his mouth

"R-...R-...Richie!"

"whoa since when do we stutter again?" Richie snorted

"Richie something is wrong with Robert...he fazes me...I think he has something to do with the accident I-"

But before continuing Richie interrupted him

"wow wow wow easy there bud...who is Robert and what accident are you talking about?"

Bill froze

"muh-...my husband...Richie...what the hell are **you** talking about and...how did you know I got married... He said I didn't even invite you?"

Richie kept quiet for a few minutes. He sat up and fixed his glasses on his nose.

"Richie..?"

"are you and Audra making some prank calls or? Cause' it's not funny at all...go to the beach or something?!"

"wuh-...what?"

"what do you mean by 'what' dumbass are you guys drunk?!"

_Audra..._

Wasn't that the name he saw in his phone a few moments ago?

"who is Audra?" he asked almost subconscious

Richie's eyebrows furrowed.

"alright...alright you guys clearly took something and whatever it is I don't want none of it now hang up and call me when you're back from Hawaii"

He said calmly and rubbed his eyes under his glasses.

_Hawaii?!_

"Richie! I'm not fucking kidding who the hell is Audra and why the hell would I be in Hawaii man...I got hit by a car I'm at home!"

Silence again for a few moments

"Richie!" Bill yelled in anger

"Dude...Audra is your wife"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me. I know I am like more than late but I'm back at it! And once again I am SO sorry for grammar mistakes. But like I said. Not my first language... I'm trying alright? Alright.
> 
> Enjoy reading <:) and don't hesitate to leave a comment to tell me what u think

Bill felt his heart skip beats. 

"m...my what...?" he asked barely audible

"wife?! Stop acting foolish you are making me worry!... Why didn't you tell me what happened!" Richie yelled making some of his coworkers turn around to glance at him. 

"R-...Richie...what do you mean wife... I-.. I... but Robert-" 

"there is no goddamn Robert! I know every single detail about you man! All of us do, and you never mentioned some unknown guy named Robert-.."

Bill's stomach was turning. Could it be? Had he really been so blind that a stranger was capable of making him believe he got married to a man? No... That could not be. He was smarter than that. Right?

While Bill fell completely quiet in yet another sea of thoughts, on the other side of the phone was a panicked Richie who had made his way to the toilet to talk to Bill without drawing the eyes of his coworkers on him. 

" Bill? Bill... Bill you need to tell me what happened... You need to tell me exactly what happened... Who is Robert...did he hurt you? Did he hurt Audra? Bill...? BILL goddamn you! answer me!" 

Richie yelled making Bill snap out of his thoughts. 

" I-.... I-.... I-... Ruh-.. Robert-"

Fuck 

Richie thought to himself, he was walking past the bathroom stalls with one hand on the phone and the other one in his hair scratching his scalp. This was bad. Unimaginably bad. 

"Bill. Bill... Listen to me... I'm gonna need you to listen to me... You are not allowed to panic... Don't panic.. You hear me? Don't... And I can't stress it enough... Don't panic-.. Bill... Bill breathe-" 

Richie was right. He indeed was panicking...just like Richie himself was right now. 

The loud whistle of the wind outside was filling his ears again and the hard thud of every single rain drop against the window made him wince.

He felt so numb.. Richie was screaming his lungs out on the phone while Bill was slowly closing his eyes, ready to faint.. 

"Bill! Listen bud.. Listen.. It's okay.. Breathe.. I'm here with you alright? I'm gonna find you but you need to tell me what happened... Remember our old stop being nervous technique before going out on stage? Breathe in.....hold it....breathe out... Can you do that for me?"

"... "

" Bill!"

Just a few moments away from fainting Bill felt something surge through his body.

It was like a spark of adrenaline and a voice in his head which told him that he needed to stay awake if he wanted to know what was going on.

He would either find it out now...or never...and the never couldn't be more serious as he knew that something was off with Robert and he was sure that something else bad would happen now or in near future. 

He listened to Richie. Breathe in...hold it...breathe out 

"yes! You are doing great bud! Just like that..."

Richie said trying so hard to sound as calm as possible even though he was close to screaming again at Bill to tell him without hesitation what was going on. 

"alright... Tell me.. Bill...what is going on..."

Bill sat up again, his hand hardening around the crutch 

"I woke up in the hospital... There...t-there was this guy...th-..this incredibly good looking guy...who was telling me he's my husband...I...I had an accident a-...a few weeks...?...months ago..? I was hit a a car in the night and..."

He started breathing fast again. Tears rolled up in his eyes. His voice thinned making him cough a few times. 

Richie was standing in front of the mirror. His right hand grasping the side of the sink while listening to his friend. He was slowly leaning forward to look himself in the eyes.

It took a huge amount of self control to breathe quiet to understand what Bill was saying as his voice got thinner due to the urge to cry. 

Plus that Richie had to finish the sentences Bill wasn't able to speak out properly.

" a-and...and then we got home and he was **so** nice and so...s-so...sweet a-and...and...and then I-... I made him mad I-....I don't know why! I just wasn't in the muh-...mood for fucking and-..."

Bill hadn't been bursting out in tears yet. At least he didn't feel he was because tears were already streaming down his face, but without him even noticing.

He started choking on his words and also sobbing a few times before being able to speak out an entire word. His face flushed hot red. 

It was like he was cut in two pieces. His soul desperately wanting know what was going on while his body was trying to scream out in tears all the frustration that has been built up within him. 

Yes. This was it. Bill was fighting against his own body to talk to Richie while also wanting to just sit on the bed and cry for hours. Having his friend tell him that he never even heard of Robert was what pushed him over the edge. 

Robert told Bill that he never got to meet his friends and that the plans have always been canceled, but Bill knew very damn well that he would have told his friends about such a big event as his marriage. 

Robert lied. 

" a-...and he grabbed mh- me by the ch...chin and said I-.. I am done if he luh-...loses control and..." 

For a few seconds he managed to spit out the words fast and clear but with an undertone of anger 

"the next day he just sat there laughing about his fucking lost of control as if it was the most normal thing in the world"

Richie was more than alarmed. Hearing his friend yelling through tears that he was afraid of a stranger who claimed to be his husband was gut wrenching. How could this even happen without him or any of the others noticing. 

The comedian on the phone took a deep breath.

"a-and...there was this door...th-...this door in the hallway a-and I got down there and there was this ph-..phone he told me I had luh-..lost...when I had the accident and...and..." 

Bill started yelling out with his tears streaming down his face in a huge amount 

"wuh-...why would he lie to me a-about it!?...why?!" 

He asked. But deep down inside of him Bill already had guessed what might have happened and of course he would prefer the way that sounded less terrifying. 

"to conclude...you had an accident... You can barely remember something...there is a man called Robert who claims to be your husband and you're so badly injured that you are not able to......run"

Richie said. He turned away from the mirror to face one of the bathroom stalls. His hand still on the sink holding hard on to it. 

The stuttering got worse 

"r-ruh-run.... Wuh-... Why would I-.."

"Cause' whatever the fuck he told you happened in your wedding night isn't even fucking halfway right" 

Richie quickly added. 

"what do you-" 

Richie spoke faster. He didn't know how much time Bill had but he didn't want to waste a single second. 

"you married Audra. You fell in love with her when you went to college...after that we met aga-.. I mean...after that you introduced her to all of us and after two years you guys decided to get married!" 

The tears were burning his face. Bill swiped them away with his hand and kept on listening to Richie even though he was getting only more frightened with each word of his friend. 

" On your wedding we all had fun and... "

Richie paused there for a second rubbing his eye under his glasses. 

"then you talked to me and said you wanted to go earlier because you had a surprise for Audra...and I agreed and told the others and we said goodbye and have fun in your honeymoon and now you're calling me to tell me you are at home with a lost memory and a stranger?!"

This was all Bill needed to finally know that Robert might be a psychopath. 

" you need to tell me where your new house is! I'm calling the cops! Bill! You hear me?! "

But he wasn't. With the last 2 percent he still had he clicked on the gallery of his phone and there it was. The evidence. 

Hunderds of photos taken by him of a beautiful blonde woman. His wife. He scrolled down as fast as he could. Not a single photo of Robert, not even Richie or the others... Just her and him. 

"Bill where are y-" 

But it was too late. The last thing Bill saw before his phone went off was the face of his wife he initially had married. 

There was no charger. He hadn't told Richie where he was and now it was clear that Robert isn't who he claims to be. 

On top of that his wife is missing and even if he wanted to he now was afraid to remember what really happened in that night. 

Bill was quiet for a few moments. He just sat there staring at the phone. He stopped himself from crying and slowly got up from the bed. 

He took the crutch and slowly walked close to the balcony to watch the storm outside. 

Bill didn't know how to react to the news that have been brought to him.

He was sick with fear. 

So much that he could barely move. Robert would be coming home soon. He knew he isn't going to be able to act normal around him. Not anymore. 

There was only one way out. At least it was worth giving it a try. 

He hurried to the closet and got dressed in a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. He didn't have any rain coats but he didn't care. Getting wet was his last issue right now. 

The author was in such hurry that he didn't care how much it would hurt to put on a shoe. He just did it and screamed like hell. 

After taking only a few seconds to get down the stairs Bill hurried to the front door passing by the other door that contained that awful reek and Robert's ridiculous fondness for the circus. 

When Bill clicked the knob the door swung open and a wave of the cold wind along with a few rain drops hit him. 

He didn't care. 

After one deep breath Bill pulled the hood of his jacket over his head and limped out of the house as fast as he could. 

The storm was heavy and he could barely manage to hold himself on his feet. After just seconds of getting out of the house he was already completely wet. 

There it was. The gate. 

A weak smile appeared on the author's lips but disappeared just as fast as it came when he placed his hand on the bars to realize that it was closed. 

"no...no...no"

Bill screamed. He placed his other hand on the gate letting the crutch fall into the wet dirt. 

There is no way he's going back into that house. He is going to escape no matter what. 

He let go of the gate and shook himself off a little 

You got this. Do it. 

He sat down in the dirt and took the shoe and sock of his left foot then the right one. 

Taking the shoes off wasn't as painful and bad as what was about to come. Bill got back up and placed his hands on the gate again. 

He started climbing up, a loud scream filled the woods as soon as he put his injured foot on the tall bars. 

The pain surged through his whole body but he wasn't ready to give up. 

When arriving at the top of the gate his left foot slipped making him fall down on the other side. Once again he cried out in pain holding onto his already injured foot. 

There was no time wasting. Adrenaline rushed through Bill's veins, even the pain from falling down and his hurt foot seemed to fade away when he started running into the woods. 

Hoping to encounter a car that would drive him away from this hell...away from Robert. 

The soft mud under his bare feet made it hard to run but also less painful. Of course he had also fallen down a few times getting dirt all over his clothes. 

The still heavy rain made it almost impossible to see something through the trees. 

He took a little break to gain back breath, his tongue was sticky in his mouth and the saliva was gone. 

His hands placed on the bark of a tree. His teeth clenched when he tentatively lifted his injured foot up on his toes.

It was trembling from the coldness of the weather just like the rest of his body. He put his arms around his body to warming himself up a bit. 

It took a few moments until Bill was able to breathe normal again. 

That tiny smile came back when he looked up to see a road not far from the spot he was standing. 

"oh thanks god...thank you...thank you" 

He exhaled. After just a few moments the sound of rolling wheels filled his ears. Not much after he saw two headlights on the road coming right his way. 

"help....help" 

The author first whispered then slowly rised his voice to the top of his lungs. 

With one arm still around him he pushed himself with the other one from the tree limping a few steps forward. 

Then sticking both of his arms up in the sky to wave as hard as he could 

"Hey! Stop the car! Stop the-..."

But everything was going too well to be real. It wasn't just any car with any possible person who could have saved him. No. It was the Bentley. His car. Robert's car. 

Bill's arms slowly sunk. The smile turning into a worried and frightened face that was again just seconds away from crying. 

"you've got to be fucking kid-..."

Bill intended to run into the woods hoping that Robert wouldn't see him. 

But this time his foot wasn't agreeing. As soon as he set the first step the author fell to his knees covering his mouth to keep him from screaming. 

The car drove slower and Bill knew he just had lost his last chance to escape because he was dumb enough to yell at a car without checking first. 

Bill never prayed or believed in God, since that one day in his life that took his belief in the lord and savior who was supposed to protect him at any cost. 

But now for the first time in years while laying in the mud facing it and with rain hitting his back he clasped his hands together and started praying. 

The car stopped just a meter away from him and the tall figure got out of it. 

"Billy? Is that you?" 

He heard the deep voice saying and approaching him. 

His breathing got faster...afraid of what was about to come.

He slowly put his arms on his head trying to protect himself from any harm that Robert would intend to do to him not saying a word. 

"Bill? My darling... What are you doing here?" 

Robert chuckled and placed his hand on Bill's shoulder to turn him around. 

"talk to me baby.."

He said and picked Bill up from the mud without effort. He faced the smaller man in his armed and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek making Bill look up surprised. 

"R-Ruh... Robert"

Bill stuttered. He glanced up to meet Robert's face and to his surprise he was smiling. 

"let's get you home first.."

He said and sat Bill down in the car then also sat himself down in the driver's seat. 

Bill drew his legs up to himself shaking and jerking uncontrollably. It wasn't clear for him if it was due to the cold weather or the fright he now had against Robert. 

The author wasn't able to get more than his name out of his mouth.

Visions of what Robert might do to him when they get home flashed in front of his eyes. 

"what we're you doing out in the woods silly?" 

Robert chuckled once again. 

As much as Bill would have wanted to find a quick excuse and talk to him, the words stuck in his throat refusing to pass his lips. 

Robert started driving again. His eyes stayed focused on the road. His voice sounded happy and childish, he was also smiling and talking so cheerfully. 

"come on Billy boy...tell me what you think you were doing...I missed you so much... Just look how lucky I am.. I couldn't wait to get home to see you...and look who I found on the road.. "

He laughed. 

"I-.... I-...." 

Bill felt nauseous. Usually he didn't have trouble with lying. His brain was full of creativity and had enough space for imaginations, that's why he always managed to write so many in novels in such a short time. 

Findin excuses was the most simple thing for him. But right now. It felt like his head was empty.

The only thing he was being able to think of were all the things Richie told him. He was sitting in the car with a stranger. One that may or may not have done something to his wife. 

Robert groaned and started poking the steering wheel with his fingertips. He might not show it but it was clear that he was getting impatient. 

It was obvious how surprised he was by finding Bill on the side of the road and even without his crutch, but the man just laughed it off.

"tell me Billy, tell me now what you were doing and how you got so far away from home or else I'm going to break your foot again with my bare hands... You wouldn't want that do you?...you don't want me to break your foot right? " 

Robert laughed and looked at Bill from the corner of his eye. His face was just so kind and friendly but his voice made him sound like a crazy psychopath. 

Bill's eyes widened. Having his foot broken again would make him walk with that crutch for the rest of his life. 

"I-... I wanted to out for a wuh-walk... I... I-...got so bored with-...without you" 

"Aha..."

Robert answered mockingly and liftet his right hand from the wheel to put it an Bill's shoulder. He started stroking him until he reached for Bill's nape. 

"so you just...decided to...go out for a walk Billy boy?" 

The man nodded. 

"yeh-...yes Robert" 

Robert's hand was cold, it slowly constricted around Bill's neck making him choke very quietly. 

"I understand my love... It really can get boring up there when you are alone..."

He added. His eyes still fixed on the road until they got back to the house. 

When the gate opened Robert saw the crutch in the mud. Even though you could barely see it. 

He just drove past it and helped his little one out of the car. By that time the rain got lighter but the sun hadn't returned. 

Bill smiled weakly almost crying from relief that Robert believed him. There may be another chance for escaping. 

"where is your crutch Billy? Did you try to go on a walk without it?" 

Robert asked. He placed one of Bill's arms around his neck and then grabbed him with his own by the hip helping him limp to the house. 

"y-yes... I left it at h-home...somewhere in the h- house" 

He answered and concentrated on not stepping anymore on his injured foot as it had been tortured enough for today. Robert glared at him. 

His face wasn't happy or smily anymore. It was dark and scary. His grip on Bill's hip tightened as he digged his nails on Bill's flesh. 

" you know what Billy?" 

He asked in a monotone voice 

" wuh-... What..? "

Bill asked back with a barely audible voice. His head only now tilting up to meed Robert's dark eyes. 

"I don't think I believe your words little buddy" 

Was the last thing Bill heard before being grabbed by the nape once again and having his head smashed to the ground sending him almost immediately into unconsciousness. 

After that Robert carefully took him in his arms and got into the house. 

The smile on it's face was immense. 

"now now... Out of all the things I did ... let's see which one of them Billy found out first" 

It laughed while going upstairs. 

All the patience it had to put up in the last weeks was over. 

Now it was time for action. 


End file.
